Today I’m writing about breaking the rules. Even the way I say that is awkward. You see, I’m a bit of a control freak. Anyone who knows me and reads this is probably nodding his or her head in recognition, “yes Anne, you are.” This can be a good thing in certain situations and jobs, and it can be annoying as hell in others. I believe it served me well as a recruiter, but as a career coach, it has to be monitored (spoken like a true control freak).
One of my favorite quotes is by Gustave Flaubert and that is: “Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original in your work.” I have that hanging above my desk, partly to justify my regularity, but also because I like the idea that to be really original or exciting, you need to take care of the basics (maybe to give you the needed juice). The basics should always be you, whatever you need to take care of yourself, but could also be your family, pets, apartment, house, whatever needs to be tended to. Then that foundation gives you the freedom to produce something exciting and original.
I’ve been taught this theory in yoga too. You start with the basic asanas (poses) and then build up to the more challenging ones like a headstand or side crow. Also, the act of the daily yoga practice sets up the rest of your life for more freedom of expression and courage to do what needs to be done.
As a coach, being original in my work could mean connecting with my clients as unique individuals and adjusting my process to each person, rather than applying a formula for everyone. Of course, as a coach there is a code of ethics that I follow established by the ICF (which eliminates the “violent” part of that quote), but even those guidelines provide a structure that helps me be more creative with what I do – sort of like a creative brief. Sometimes you need limitations to truly be creative.
With my clients, I encounter common themes in their feelings and challenges, but everyone is an individual. Each person is unique in how they process, learn, make decisions, reflect, react. A coach needs to stay in the moment and be able to stay flexible. As they said in my training – to dance in the moment.
As far as “breaking the rules,” I work for myself, so I have the freedom to make my own rules, and those that I believe in, like confidentiality and fairness, I will not break.
But one day when I was working on a proposal to work with a client, I wondered ‘well, how do other coaches do this?’ “what’s the expectation?” a wise friend said to me, “it’s your business, Anne, you make your own rules.”
What a concept. It was a relief and inspiration to make me work harder, think differently, reach higher, turn over rocks and open closed doors. So I write this post to make the commitment to continue growing, feeling uncomfortable and rid myself of the belief that I should be following some unspoken rule. Also to say to you that there are no rules about what to do next in your life. You know what your parameters are and if you don’t, figure them out, but then just be original, like only you can be.
