anne hubben, creative career coach         anne@rubycreatives.com 917.834.0354

what are you tolerating?

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
 

Do you ever notice how there are certain things that just never get done?  For me there’s a big basket of receipts that I have to sort that has been sitting near my TV for more than a month, maybe it’s 2, I can’t bear to count.  I have a purple room in my house that I’d really like to paint. Every time I look at it, I feel the weight of that chore.

In the world of coaching they call these tolerations.  It’s any sort of “to do” that nags at you every time you encounter it.  It could be a small task like replacing a light bulb to a larger task like cleaning out your closet or in my case painting a room.   No matter how big or small the task is, it’s there weighing on you and draining your energy.

Why don’t we just do these things then? I have no idea. I’m not a psychologist.  But I am a coach and my job is to create ways to move through these kinds of obstacles.   So here are a few suggestions on how to abolish your tolerations.

1.  Create a list of every single toleration in your house or personal life:  from the disastrous sock drawer to the roof that needs shingling to the vet appointment for your dog.  Then in your office or professional life:  from the expense report to your employee’s review to updating your bio. Decide whether to tackle one list at a time or both.  If both, try doing 5 things from one list, then switch to the other and back again.

2.  Prioritize the list.  In fact, feel free to put the easiest things at the top of the list so that you can have the immediate gratification of crossing a few things off.  But you also might consider putting the harder stuff first to get it out of the way. You know yourself so do it in whatever way you think will be most effective.

3. Take a few moments to envision how it will feel to have some of these things done.  For me, I could imagine feeling satisfied and peaceful when my room is no longer purple.  It will be more aesthetically pleasing + I will enjoy spending time in there rather than just leaving it for my dogs to hang out in.

4. Commit to a plan that is specific and realistic.  Depending on the length of your list, it could be a commitment to fix one thing a day. Or if everything is large on your list, then commit to one task a week.  Just don’t go overboard, think about your schedule, be practical.  Tell someone about your plan.  Even better partner up with someone for support.

I’m going to do this myself + will report back on how I’m doing. If you’d like to join me, let me know in the comments or send me an email.

Posted in action, problem solving, solutions | 2 Comments »

it’s never too late to change

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
 

It’s never too late to change. If you’re still breathing and your heart is pumping, you can do it.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you like how you feel.   Do you like how you feel when you wake up? (correction: after the first cup of coffee?)  Do you enjoy the work that you’re doing? How about the people you’re doing it with? Do you feel happy when you walk in to your home at night?

If something isn’t right, the first shift is acknowledging it. That probably seems simple, but it can be a formidable act. Many people will do anything to avoid looking at what isn’t working.  It can be painful, frustrating, overwhelming and potentially create unrest in your life.  Nobody likes unrest.  Especially when it affects those around you.

Although you hopefully know by now that you can’t live your life based on others expectations, it can still be a challenge to put yourself first.  But, it really is simpler and more straightforward to follow your own heart rather than someone else’s. Sure, there are concrete obligations to consider and you can consider them part of the creative brief.  You’ve thrived creatively on the limitations imposed on a problem to solve, now apply that concept to your own happiness.

After you’ve recognized the truth, it’s time to create your vision. Think big.  Don’t let your rational mind hold you back.  There’s time later to sort through it and make it realistic yet authentic, but in its infancy, have fun and break the rules.  After you’ve done that, give it some time to settle in and then percolate.

At this point it’s helpful to talk through your ideas with someone.  This is where an objective point of view can keep you focused, moving forward, pragmatic yet positive. We often get in our own way and a partner, like a coach or a trusted friend can prevent you from going down the dark road of your own mind for too long.  Once you have 3 to 4 different possibilities, its research time.  Here’s where you use your online and personal resources. Look in to things and talk to people. When you’re taking in lots of external information it can be overwhelming and confusing, but also invigorating and clarifying. Continue to believe in your ability to change.

Take care of yourself throughout this process.  Hopefully you know what that means for you.  Remember that you have choices.  There are sometimes too many and sometimes too few, but trust that the process will bring the right choice to the surface. Then believe that you have the ability to make the change. More and more in my life I’m seeing how we’re only limited by our own beliefs. Create the new belief that it’s never too late to change.

Posted in Uncategorized, action, change, problem solving, self development, state of mind | 1 Comment »

how i cracked it open

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010
 

I’ve been thinking a lot about my “brand” and the services that I offer.  My coaching business is in it’s second year and I think that I’m selling myself short. I’m pretty sure I have more to offer than I’m giving.  A friend of mine told me that she loves my blog posts but she feels like I’m holding back.  In fact, my sister agreed.  But, I didn’t really understand what they meant or how I could change it.

But recently I had a revelation.  I’ve been checking out some other entrepreneurs’ sites and I realized that the ones that I really love are authentic about themselves both personally and professionally.  I’ve heard about authenticity before and believed that I had it covered.  But I’ve neglected to talk about the turning point that changed my life in the most meaningful way.

So I’d like to explain why helping people take actions and move through obstacles or confusion has become my passion.  It’s because I’ve moved through plenty of my own.  I’ve felt the complete confusion of not being able to make a decision because there were either too many ideas or too few.  I spent most of my 20s and my early 30s freaking out about what to do with my life.  I fell in to jobs and would be happy for awhile, but would eventually start to plot my escape.  But, I plotted without the tools to know how to move forward, so it basically amounted to dreaming.

But 10 years ago, I had had enough and I made a big change in my life that cracked things open.  After that, things started falling in to place. Opportunities presented themselves and I took them.  I took responsibility for the first time in my adult life and my life unfolded in a new way.  Not at all how I had envisioned it, nor how our culture envisions it for a woman, but in a way that has inspired me to share my story so that I might help someone else who is as confused as I was.

Because what I changed will take more time to explain, I will leave it for my next post so that you can get back to your own life.

Posted in change, problem solving, state of mind | 2 Comments »

is rejection holding you back?

Friday, April 9th, 2010
 

Rejection stinks. Especially when you’re a sensitive type which most creative people are.  Fear of rejection is almost worse because its something we’re creating ourselves.  Having processed my own share of rejection and fear of it, as well as working with many clients who have to deal with it in different ways, I thought it would be worth writing about.

Some examples of rejection could be:

  • Your Creative Director tells you to get back to the drawing board after you and your partner stay up all night creating what you were sure would win you a Clio.
  • You spend 2 days writing the perfect cover letter for your dream job and you hear that they’ve hired someone else.
  • The agent who was so excited about your proposal doesn’t return your call.
  • You have a great idea in a brainstorming session, but don’t share it because you don’t want to look bad.

Whatever the flavor is, when it happens to you, it can bring up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings — shame, self-righteous anger, sadness, depression, futility, exhaustion, whatever it is, it’s usually not positive.

The trick is not to wallow in those initial feelings, but recognize them and move on.  Take the next action that will move you away from wallowing. That could be calling it a day and going home (put the brain down and walk away) or taking a walk around the block. Just get away from the situation for a minute and get a grip.

Then pick up the phone or pencil again and get back at it.

Yes, putting our work or ideas out in to the world can make us vulnerable, but if we don’t do it, then we really can’t wonder why we are where we are.

The barstool dreamer usually stays on the barstool.  If you want to get off of it, you have to deal with the discomfort and keep going forward.  Whatever you might think of Tiger Woods, you have admire him for getting back on to the golf course.  Sure, he’s got a lot of money at stake, but he could have waited it out longer.

The main thing to remember is what was so famously said in the Godfather: “It’s not personal, Sonny. It’s strictly business.”

Posted in action, letting go, persistence, problem solving, solutions, state of mind | No Comments »

how to follow up in today’s broken application process

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
 

What started out today as a post on how to follow up on job submissions has turned in to a mini-rant on the application process. But, i give a few tips at the end, so bear with me. I should say up front that I’ve got no magic formula here.

There are many variables to the application process and they mostly involve people. People in the HR department where you’ve applied, and people that are looking for work. As we all know, there are thankfully many different types of people. Unfortunately, what is often the case is that the rude, inconsiderate ones ruin it for the rest of us.

There are bitchy HR people that treat your phone calls with disdain and there are insecure, pissed off jobseekers who don’t seem to understand that getting angry isn’t going to get them further along in the pipeline.

There are so many wonderful, talented, polite and hardworking people out there getting really frustrated, and there are also very decent HR people and recruiters (also wonderful, talented, polite and hardworking) that want to fill the job as much as you want to get it. They’ve got 45 more open jobs right behind this one and if they could get you in for an interview they would because they want the req off their desk. Unfortunately, they’re all short staffed and many intend to reply and often do, but things (and people) slip through the cracks and it sucks when it’s you.

The result is that highly qualified people are hearing nothing at all on jobs that should at least warrant a phone interview, and don’t understand why. All they want is a response.

Yes, they can surmise that no response means the company isn’t interested, but frankly, having been behind the scenes myself for several years, I know for a fact that people get overlooked.

Like I said, most departments are understaffed and that’s always because of, what else? Money.

I’m pretty tired of companies saying that recruiting is their number one priority because if it were they would have better systems in place for applicants. It’s not a mystery as to what needs to be done. If you’ve got recruiters working for you, ask them what they need. Your recruiters are representatives of your company and if they’re not responding to anyone, or when they do happen to pick up the phone, they’re rude or simply unfriendly, your company is getting a bad rap out there.

So what’s the answer? Well, obviously, the way that companies handle their recruiting is out of my hands. I can offer a few standard tips for follow up, such as:

If the ad says ‘no phone calls please’ then don’t call.

If the ad doesn’t say that, then wait 2 weeks and then see if you can get through the receptionist by asking for the recruiter in charge of hiring creatives (a recruiter friend of mine said 3 weeks, so it’s your call). You could also look through your Linked In contacts to see if you can get the name of a recruiter. Even if it’s not the right one, they will transfer you to the recruiter in charge of the job.

When you follow up, you’ll most likely get voicemail, so be pleasant and succinct. Give your name, phone number, position you’re interested in AND the link to your portfolio.

Then simply move on. If your work is right for the role, you’ve called yourself out from the masses of submissions and will most likely get reviewed. That’s the main objective. Your work needs to be seen. Making sure your portfolio and resume are showing you in the best light is another matter.

If anyone has had success with follow up that you’d like to share, please do.

Posted in jobhunting tips, problem solving, solutions | 2 Comments »

do your practice

Monday, January 25th, 2010
 

The good news is that I’m busy, and not with running errands, but actual work. My schedule is changing as I fit more clients in to my days and while it’s exciting for me, I’ve not posted anything in almost 2 weeks! Yikes. I actually thought it had been a week, but there it is — January 12th.

I was hoping that a topic would come to me as I did other things and then it would just flow effortlessly. Um, yeah, it doesn’t really work that way all the time. I even read another blog advising that to be productive, it’s best to set up a daily writing routine. I told myself that I would do it, yet I didn’t. So I thought if i wrote about it, I might actually make a commitment to it.

The problem for me with writing is that I always intend to do it, i block out time on my calendar, I sit down with my good intentions and then I start searching the web for inspiration. Check out what other people are saying, look for interesting topics, all the while responding to emails and reading tweets as they roll in. How exactly does that constitute as writing?

I’ve known for years that to get good at anything, the key is to practice. As a result, there will be days where it’s effortless and other days where you wonder if you could possibly be the most untalented person alive.

When I was younger I hated to practice piano. No, time didn’t disappear as I pounded away at the keys, but instead the 30 minutes required to be allowed to go hang out with my friends seemed like 8 hours. Clearly, not my calling. But when I write, it doesn’t feel like work, I enjoy it, time disappears, so why do i resist it?

I’m not going to be able to answer that in this post. Instead I’m committing to a plan of writing 30 minutes a day. I’ll shut down email, my web browsers and do it. In fact, this session counts for today. Maybe first thing in the morning is my time. Coffee always helps.

By writing on a regular basis, as opposed to when I feel inspired, I give myself the chance to write something worthwhile. Yes, there is value in researching online, but it’s still not the act of writing. Just like creative people need to immerse themselves in all things creative to be inspired, they’re not only immersing themselves. Everyday they paint, write, play, photograph, sing, whatever their practice is.

In the wise words of the great Yoga Guru Pattabhi Jois, “Do your practice and all is coming.”

Posted in action, musings, persistence, problem solving, solutions, state of mind | No Comments »

the many fine lines of writing a cover letter

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
 

I’m working with a couple of people now on cover letters, and I get asked about them a lot, so I thought I’d write about them today.

The most common mistake that I see people make with cover letters is that they’re too stiff and formal, and the result is that it tells me nothing about the person which defeats the whole purpose.

Granted, in creative you can be a bit more casual, but that’s not even the point. Part of why a cover letter is requested is to see how you communicate, so here’s your chance to show this as a strength. When someone copies their letter out of a book on “how to write a cover letter” it’s obvious.

Also, there’s a fine line between being too casual and being yourself. There’s that same line between being professional and being too over-the-top ingratiating.

All these pointers can be paralyzing so what I often suggest to my clients is to write out a first draft of your cover letter as if you’re writing to a friend. Tell that friend clearly what your background is and what you want to do moving forward. Then, take a second pass at it and write as if you’re writing to someone that you want to date. You want to impress them but not sound too full of yourself. You tell them why they should go out with you. Again, it’s a fine line.

Then, if you’re writing to a specific company, you need to do your homework and add something about why you want to work there specifically. Nobody, not even large companies want to feel like they’re one of several people that are receiving the exact same cover letter. You also want to explain what you can offer them. Not in a cheesy “here’s what I’m going to do for you” way or “let’s make some money together” way (yes, I’ve received those letters). But more like “I bring experience in online recruiting in nontraditional ways such as yada, yada, yada”

Some things to watch out for:

1 — Using humor. Another fine line to navigate. Not everyone can pull this off, but in the creative industry, it can give you a leg up if you do it successfully. You’ll want to run this letter by someone you trust. My sister is someone that will tell me that I sound like a dork. She’s caught several of these moments on my blog, and I’m sure there are plenty more that she hasn’t caught in time.

2 — Writing too much. That doesn’t really need an explanation other than 2 or 3 paragraphs is probably enough depending on what you have to say (and the length of the paragraphs). If you’re explaining a career transition or a gap in your resume or you’re reaching higher than you’re qualified for, then you get an extra paragraph.

3 — Show rather than tell. Instead of saying “I’m an excellent communicator” just be one. Instead of saying “I’m a team player” point out a project that illustrates collaboration.

4 — Be genuine. Ask a friend who will tell you the truth if your cover letter sounds like you. If it doesn’t, ask for some direction as to why it doesn’t and then tweak.

What I often hear is that people hold off on applying for a job so that they can get their cover letter together. This is how we lose out on jobs, so it’s a good idea to have a basic one ready to go. One that you’ve shown someone else to screen for the above points or any others that you think of. Then when the perfect job presents itself, you just have to gear the cover letter more specifically for this job.

So take your Mom’s advice and be yourself, but be the best version of yourself.

Posted in communication, problem solving, self promotion, solutions | 2 Comments »

how to feed and water millennials

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
 
I just finished a book called Millennials Incorporated by Lisa Orrell and if the younger people (born between 1982 and 2002, years vary, but this is the most agreed upon range) that you’re managing or working alongside are a mystery to you, this is a great read. I picked it up because I heard about her more recent book, called Millennials Into Leadership. Since I hadn’t read the first book, i thought I’d start with that.
Admittedly, it has been hard to accept that I’m part of the older generation. I fall in between the Boomers and Gen X. While I read this book I found myself shaking my head saying “really? isn’t that coddling? don’t they need to suck it up like the rest of us?”
But Orrell focuses on the positive aspects and there are plenty of them. She tells us how to recruit, manage and retain this generation and the fact that she’s now written a Leadership book for them means it’s time to stop complaining about it, and recognize the strengths that this generation brings to the workplace.
Some things that struck me were (and I should point out that although the points below were made by the author, I do a lot of my own pontificating, so if you’re interested in this, read the book because there’s a lot more that I haven’t brought up):
Millennials are “pack animals.” They’re used to being around people and thrive in that kind of environment. They work well in open, collaborative spaces. They’re used to being connected all the time to friends, including friends all over the world.

Training and mentoring is critical for Millennials because they care about learning and want to grow. They do not appreciate a “hands off” approach in a job. They want to be paid attention to, and they want to make a difference so they’re looking to you to lead them.
Clear direction is important. This one made sense to me because (and here’s where I go on my own riff) I’ve heard from a few managers that they feel like they have to babysit junior people. What could be happening is that the manager isn’t giving clear direction. They think they are, but when they were starting out, they were told to “go figure it out” so “clear direction” to a Boomer is probably different than “clear direction” to a Millennial. If you believe you’ve been clear, but they’re not producing, then it wasn’t clear enough. Millennials aren’t lazy and they’re definitely not clueless. Ask questions. What isn’t clear? Not in an impatient, patronizing way, but in a curious way. Then listen to what their answer is. Don’t judge it, just listen.
Respect for a superior has to be earned for Millennials. I found this one interesting, and it makes sense if you look at all the people that have fallen from grace in the public eye over the last 20 years. They’re not intimidated by age. They want to respect their superiors, but if they’re not feeling it, they’re not going to pretend.
Millennials need constant praise. This is something that I hear all the time. Also, that they don’t take criticism well. Millennials have grown up being told that they’re wonderful and there are no winners or losers. Although this seems exhausting to Boomers and GenXers, it’s something that we’re going to have to accept.
I’m not sure how people can grow without getting truthful, direct feedback, but we have to find the right way to give the feedback, or it will not be heard, but instead build resentment. (okay, I’m pretty sure this is my riff again). Boomers and GenXers have always gotten quick feedback on the fly and you hear it and move on. Now, as the boss, you’re going to need to slow down, take the person aside to a private place and communicate well. It will feel awkward and slow you down at first, but you’ll get used to it and it will pay off.
There’s so much more I could write, but if you’re relating to any of this (or not, but need to), then get the book. It’s also got some great suggestions on recruiting techniques. Maybe I’ll write more as I continue to work with people on these issues. The bottom line is that as we continue to work with people in different generations, you can’t throw your arms up in disgust saying “these kids today!” It’s right out of the old fogie playbook. Instead, recognize the differences, accept them and chillax, it’s a team effort. We’ll figure it out together.

Posted in communication, problem solving, solutions, state of mind | No Comments »

finding a solution

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
 

You know when you just feel uncomfortable at your present job but you don’t know why? Well, you really can’t expect your boss to solve your problems because she has enough of her own, so it’s up to you to come up with a solution. The solution could be that it’s time to move on, but before you get on that ride, take a look at how you might make your present job work for you. Otherwise, the risk is that you change jobs (or boyfriends or friends or cities), it seems to be the solution at first, and then suddenly, “there you are.” You realize that something still isn’t right and then what?

So instead of reacting immediately, ask yourself a few questions:

1 — How do I feel about the company? Do I like the culture? Do I agree with its mission statement?

2 – How do I feel about my role in the company? Do I like what I do? Or is there another area that seems better suited for me?

3 – Do I know what’s next? Do I have a clear picture of what role or level I’d like to grow in to?

4 – Is there a part of my job that’s holding me back? If so, is there a way to get help or delegate or request more support if there’s not an obvious person to turn to?

After you answer these questions, then you will have a clearer picture of what’s not working for you. If it’s something that’s potentially changeable, then the next step is to work on a solution. The solution is not to go to your boss to solve your problem. Rather, solve the problem yourself, run it by someone you trust, like a mentor, coach or friend, to make sure you’re thinking clearly, and then approach your boss.

Present your ideas, and then let go of the outcome as much as possible. You will either get what you want (hooray!), or some version of it or not. If not, then it’s time to go to Plan B. Plan B could be to detach and just keep doing what you’re doing, suck it up, “aren’t most people unhappy at their jobs?” Or it could be to take a risk, be bold, expect more out of yourself and come up with an action plan for moving on and up and yes, in to the unknown.

Posted in action, change, communication, problem solving, solutions | No Comments »

breathe

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
 

I tweeted the other day that it’s important to give yourself the space to not think about the problem you’re trying to solve. A writer friend tweeted back “unless you’re on deadline” which was a valid point.

But even then, I still think you can stand up and stretch your legs, walk around the block, stare at the sky and just breathe. Even for 5 minutes. If you’re thinking to yourself “I don’t have time to do that” then consider it a smoking break. Non-smokers might look at the smokers huddling outside with pity, but at least they’re giving themselves a break.

Of course, it would be preferable and healthier to breathe fresh air (relatively speaking), and not return to your desk smelling like you just stepped out of a bar. This is not a judgment or statement about smoking (I used to smoke and still oddly like that smell). I’m just illustrating a point and digressing, which probably doesn’t surprise anyone who knows me.

My point is – have you ever had a decision to make, thinking about it incessantly, going in circles, back and forth, telling one person one decision and then talking yourself out of it with the next one? Well, I have. And I’ve heard my clients do it too. And it’s not fun. But what I’ve come to realize is that the answer never comes that way. The answer comes when I give myself permission to not think about it anymore. To realize that by not beating it to death in my head I’m not being neglectful or irresponsible. I’m actually giving the answer the space to surface.

Then the next step is to dig deep and find the patience (you know it’s there somewhere) to let it arrive when it’s good and ready to. Also, trusting that the right answer for you will arrive at some point or another. It just might not be on deadline, but in that case, you’ll come up with something. You always do.

Posted in letting go, problem solving | 2 Comments »